Thursday, August 26, 2004

Jobhunting

I’m effectively out of a job (long story which I’m still hoping to find time to tell) and I’m looking for a new one. I started a simple blog to track my progress and talk about how the whole process is going — more of a personal job-hunting journal than anything. But if anyone wants to follow along at home and offer occasional words of encouragement and so forth, I’d be only too happy to give you the link.

posted by ~K~ to About Me at 9:42 am

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Friday, August 20, 2004

What's in your head?

First: what song is going through your head, RIGHT NOW? Click “leave comment” below and tell us. Don’t read the other comments until you do, or this will put their songs in your head instead. And BE HONEST!

Second: go check out Minneapolis liposuction.

posted by ~K~ to Music at 8:11 am

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Wednesday, August 18, 2004

To pet owners thinking of...

I found this on Craigslist.

Update: I’ve been requested to prepend this kind warning: NSFW, if you love animals and hate crying at work.

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Average Pet Owner:

Thank you for contacting us animal rescuers, shelter volunteers, and foster-homes about your inability to keep your pet. We receive an extremely high volume of inquiries and requests to accept surrendered animals (and none of us is getting paid, OK?). To help us expedite your problem as quickly as possible, please observe the following guidelines:

1. Do not say that you are “CONSIDERING finding a good home” for your pet, or that you, “feel you MIGHT be forced to,” or that you “really THINK it would be better if” you unloaded the poor beast. Ninety-five percent of you have already got your minds stone-cold made up that the animal WILL be out of your life by the weekend at the latest. Say so. If you don’t, I’m going to waste a lot of time giving you common-sense, easy solutions for very fixable problems, and you’re going to waste a lot of time coming up with fanciful reasons why the solution couldn’t possibly work for you. For instance, you say the cat claws the furniture, and I tell you about nail-clipping and scratching posts and aversion training, and then you go into a long harangue about how your husband won’t let you put a scratching post in the family room, and your ADHD daughter cries if you use a squirt bottle on the cat, and your congenital thumb abnormalities prevent you from using nail scissors and etc., etc. Just say you’re getting rid of the cat.

more

posted by ~K~ to Random at 9:05 am

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Monday, August 16, 2004

Stuff to look forward to

Tomorrow
Rilo Kiley “More Adventurous”. Stay tuned and I’ll let you know how great it is!

September 7
Matthew Sweet “Living Things”. While the world at large seems to have forgotten about Matthew ten years ago, he’s just quietly kept right on releasing great album after great album. His last two, “In Reverse” and “Kimi Ga Suki * Raifu”, are two of his best. This will be his ninth LP, if I remember correctly.

September 14
Twinemen “Sideshow”. Twinemen is the band of the surviving members of Morphine. Their debut disc rocked, in a bittersweet, Sandmanless kind of way.

Big Head Todd and the Monsters “Live at the Fillmore”. I’ve never really been a fan, but a long time ago when I saw him play a concert in Peoria, Illinois, he completely blew me away. I wonder if even a small fraction of his energy will come across on the disc. If it does, it will be a good album, I’m sure.

September 21
Johnny Cash “American V”. One year posthumous, almost to the week. To me, his later stuff can’t really compare with his younger hellraising days, but I know a lot of people disagree.

Sometime in September?
Universall Hall Pass “Mercury”. First solo album by Melissa of Splashdown. First newly released music of hers in five years. Damn, it’s just so exciting I can’t breathe.

October 5
Cake “Pressure Chief”. YEEEAAAAHHH! About friggin time!! I fully expect this to be exactly as good as all of the last four. Why break tradition now?

William Shatner “Has Been”. Produced by Ben Folds. You know you’re curious. Admit it. Oh, did I mention Aimee Mann guest stars?

October 12
The Soundtrack Of Our Lives “Origin”. From the “favorite bands with unbelievably lame names” category, I can’t wait for this release.

October 19
Elliott Smith “From A Basement On A Hill”. One year posthumous, to the week. Yes, we are more than a little bit excited here at the Kiosk of Love.

Pink Martini “Hang On Little Tomato”. Oops, did I say “it’s about time” in reference to Cake? Try seven friggin YEARS for these guys to put out just their second disc. Sheesh. Please be just half as great as Sympathique.

Sometime in October?
Aimee Mann live cd and dvd.

Sometime in the fall?
Built To Spill. Will try to press Doug for details at Slim’s tomorrow night. :-) Update: Doug sez they’re going into the studio next month. Lazy, lazy!

The Posies. Hey, didn’t they break up a few times?

Late November?
Beck. He describes his style this time around as “abrasive”. Dude, put out whatever kind of music you like. I’ll lap it all up.

Sometime apparently this year?
XTC “Music To Help You Breathe More Easily”. Long time since Wasp Star.

Spoon “The Beast And Dragon Are Adored”.

Friggin’ FEBRUARY?!
Aimee Mann studio album. Taking your time a little? No rush, now. Don’t you worry about us, your salivating legions of starving half-obsessed fan-units. Just, well, maybe play us some of these new songs on Friday in Saratoga, could you please? That ought to tide us over. (is that the expression I’m looking for? what the hell does that mean, anyway?)

All right y’all. Any others we should know about?

posted by ~K~ to Music at 12:33 pm

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Tuesday, August 10, 2004

I can't stop laughing

It’s real.

posted by ~K~ to Random at 9:46 pm

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Test your irony detector

A simple test to see if your irony detection apparatus is still functional.

George Lucas, a longtime foe of “colorized” movies, has sharply criticized Columbia TriStar Home Entertainment’s decision to release two Three Stooges DVDs today that will allow viewers to watch them in either their original black-and-white or digitally colored versions. In an interview with the Associated Press, Lucas said, that the Stooges’ slapstick comedy belongs in a black-and-white universe. “Would color distract from their comedy and make it not as funny anymore?” Lucas said. “Maybe just the fact that they’re in black and white makes it funny, because their humor is dated. But by putting it in black and white, it puts it in a context where you can appreciate it for what it was. But you try to make it in full living color and try to compare it to a Jim Carrey movie, then it’s hard for young people to understand. … It’s not fair to the artist.” (Source)

Anything?

Beeps, whirs, whistles?

posted by ~K~ to Movies at 11:44 am

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The nature of the "Nader Problem"

This article by Thom Hartmann, explaining how the current undemocratic state of our electoral process is caused directly by our flawed Constitution, is a must-read. I don’t even want to quote from it.

posted by ~K~ to Issues at 9:51 am

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Monday, August 9, 2004

13

Via Beancounter daydreams (via Sporkie’s blogroll),

13 random things I like:
Young adult fiction
Driving really, really far
Stirring things (ahhh. stirrrrring)
Costco
Being asked for advice
Linux
Object-oriented programming
Listening to music very, very loud
Peoplewatching
Caryn’s “I didn’t mean to laugh but it just came out” laugh
Caryn’s “you’re making fun of me” laugh
Wikipedia
Watching Oliver in the rearview when he sticks his head out the window and sniffs

12 movies I like:
In America
Narc
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
The Manchurian Candidate (both, but mostly the original)
Fast Times at Ridgemont High
Citizen Ruth
Matewan
Witness for the Prosecution
Fucking Amal (aka “Show Me Love”)
Dirty Pretty Things
The Station Agent
The Apartment

11 bands/artists I like:
Built to Spill
The Magnetic Fields
Paul Simon
Cake
Matthew Sweet
Aimee Mann
Gomez
Antonio Carlos Jobim
The Who
Nick Drake
Moxy Fruvous

10 things about the physical me:
Myopic
Birthmark covers half of my left hand
Bony, not squishy proboscis
Prone to canker sores, which hurt
Have a visible pulse. In both wrists. (Is that normal?)
Shoe size: 10 AAA. No kidding
Vocal range: baritone
All fingers and most toes like to be cracked loudly, daily
Only scar found on foot, from dropped kitchen knife (4 stitches)
Incredibly, unbelievably, supernaturally well hung

9 good friends: (I remind you that none of these are absolute rankings of any kind)

Ang
Caryn
Dave
Erin
Geena
Nicole
Tom
Yo-dog

8 foodstuffs/drinks I like:
Dreyers “whole fruit” coconut bars
Cantaloupe ice cream from Mitchell’s
Totino’s pizza rolls (should be illegal)
Starbucks’ “white mocha”
Breakfast cereal as late night snack (FroMiWhe/HoNuChe)
Apples and peanut butter (if you haven’t tried this…)
Bleu cheese
Egg nog!

7 things I wear every day:
The same pair of Timberland boots (sad but true)
White socks (sad but true)
Jeans (not exaggerating. but at least I have multiple pairs)
Wedding ring
Glasses… or contacts
Hellooo, deodorant
The tires on my car, get it?

6 things that irritate me:
Drivers who think they’re better than me
People who set their clocks wrong on purpose (love you hon)
Commercials of all kinds
Spoilers of all kinds
Absurdly loud motorcycles on my street at night
Multiple-choice opinion surveys — which categorically never list my point of view as an option

5 things I touch every day:
Computer keyboard
Daughter
Puppyhead
Guitar (sadly, not lately) Gearshift
The hearts and minds of the hundreds of thousands of devoted and adoring fans of the Kiosk of Love

4 things I watch on TV:
The screen
A bug crawling across the screen, if any
Dust
DVDs

3 celebrities I fancy:
Jennifer Connelly
Lauren Ambrose
Phoebe Cates, circa, oh I don’t know, shall we say, Fast Times

2 people I’ve kissed:
My wife
Shira, my really hot, fundamentalist post-high-school-era ex-girlfriend

1 wish:
For humanist values to one day win out over religious dogma, and if that could happen SOON, please, Mr. Internet Meme Genie, that would be, like, really awesome

posted by ~K~ to About Me at 11:06 pm

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